Cracking TV’s casting code

If you’re like me (and I know I am), you like to unwind with a little televised drama now and then. In our house, when we’re not watching science fiction-based shows like Heroes and Dollhouse, my wife and I take in a few natural and supernatural mysteries.

Our favorite crime whodunits are (in no particular order) Bones, Medium and Ghost Whisperer. Now, Ghost Whisperer may not have a mystery every week, but it usually involves figuring out how someone died.

My wife and I – like most people, I assume – always try to solve the mystery before the end of the show. The thing is, we do it so much that we’ve started to notice a pattern. It’s a relatively simple one, and I wish to point it out if only to keep networks from doing it again in the future.

If you want to catch a killer on television, pay attention to the guest cast. If you see a movie star or former television star in the cast, odds are pretty good that they are the killer.

Take, for example, last night’s episode of Medium. (Spoiler alert!) Alison is investigating the disappearance of a young woman named Meredith, who is the daughter of local politician. Alison had a dream of Meredith’s mother, Louise (played by actress Blythe Danner). She incorrectly assumed that Louise had helped her daughter disappear to get her the psychiatric help Meredith so obviously needed.

If you watch the show with any regularity, you know that Alison’s visions don’t always show the whole truth. A lot of the time, we see what amounts to a supernatural red herring. Alison often mistakenly interprets her visions to keep the show from wrapping up 20 minutes early. As it turns out, Louise murdered her own daughter to save the family from the pain of finding out Meredith was poisoning her step-daughter.

When did I figure out Blythe Danner was the murderer? About 5 seconds after seeing that she was playing the victim’s mother. A big name like Danner doesn’t do a guest shot unless there’s a reason. Since this obviously wasn’t going to be a recurring character, it was a clear bet that she was going to be the killer.

I call this TV Mystery Rule #1: “Famous people are usually the killer.” Maybe I should amend that to be “semi-famous.” I’m guessing that most people wouldn’t know who Blythe Danner is except for the fact that she’s Gwyneth Paltrow’s mom. As someone who used to review films, it’s easier for me to spot these formerly-famous people.

I admit this is a very unscientific study based on anecdotal evidence. But if you watch television mysteries, keep your eyes peeled for former great actors. I think you’ll find a killer more often than statistically probable. Maybe 75-80% of the time.

Oh, and for the record, this doesn’t work on most medical mysteries like House, MD. A virus is hardly ever played by someone famous.