Summer '04 Preview

Spider-Man vs. the Boy Wizard

A couple of months ago, a friend of mine asked me what movie I was most looking forward to this summer. I said Spider-Man 2 without hesitation because, of all the movies that were coming out, it was the only one that really excited me. The rest looked mediocre at best, predictable at worst. I thought, isn't there anything new, anything different? Sequels aside, even the "big" films looked like rehashed concepts in glossy new packaging. Troy was just Gladiator with Brad Pitt. Van Helsing reminded me of Frankenstein meets The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. The Terminal looked like Cast Away set in an airport instead of a desert island.

Hopefully there will be a few surprises, though. Even in the midst of a drought, there's always one or two good movies. Here's a rundown of what you can expect to see in the theaters this summer. These are just my first impressions based on movie trailers, not on actual screenings. Take anything I say with the proverbial grain of salt.

May

Van Helsing: Didn't I see this film when it was called The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? Even Sean Connery couldn't save that bomb. What makes Universal think Hugh Jackman can do any better? I really want to like this movie, but it's too much like League and not enough like Underworld for my taste. FGN Opinion: Avoid it!

Troy: Brad Pitt is trying to be Russell Crowe. But dressing in a skirt and swinging a sword is no way to win an Oscar. I won't even mention the homoerotic overtones. (Do you like gladiator movies, Billy?) It could be good, as long as they downplay the love story and focus on the epic battles. FGN Opinion: Good action, bad acting. Catch a matinee.

Shrek 2: Can this loveable ogre do any wrong? With an Academy Award under its belt, the cast of the original returns for more animated fairy tale hijinks. Sounds like a recipe for success, or at least a big opening weekend. FGN Opinion: Must see!

The Day After Tomorrow: The people who brought you Independence Day bring you the next big world-exploding disaster flick. With global warming out of control, it looks like the Earth is headed for a big storm that could usher in a new ice age. Casting Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhaal doesn't thrill me, but it might give women an excuse to join their geeky boyfriends. FGN Opinion: Must see!

June

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Harry and the gang return to Hogwarts for the third installment in the fantasy series. This time the boy wizard is on the run from an escaped crazy who may have been responsible for the death of his parents. Certainly looks darker than the first two films, due in part to Alfonso Cuarón at the helm. What really intrigues me is seeing if Michael Gambon play Dumbledore as well as the late Richard Harris. FGN Opinion: Harry will cast his spell again!

Garfield: The fat cat of the comics (voiced by Bill Murray) comes to the big screen thanks to a combination of computer animation (for the title character) and live action (for everyone else). I remember Garfield being funny when I was about 9. It appears that the film is targeting approximately the same age. My big complaint, Odie is a real dog. If Garfield is computer-animated, the loveable long-tongued dopey dog should be too! FGN Opinion: Only if I have to baby sit.

The Stepford Wives: A remake of a classic 1975 film that everyone knows but no one has seen. Basically, Joanna (Nicole Kidman) discovers that the women in her new suburb are a little too perfect. She soon finds that there's a reason behind it (and it ain't Dr. Phil!). Although I can't stand Bette Midler, I'll see this one just for Nicole. FGN Opinion: Sexy Sci-Fi. I am SO there!

The Chronicles of Riddick: Remember when Vin Diesel was nobody? Back then, he played a supporting character in a reasonably interesting film called Pitch Black. For some weird reason the fanboys elevated his character, Riddick, to cult status. Now Vin's star is on the decline, but he's using his remaining 15 minutes to make a sequel that centers on his character. I was dubious at first, but the trailer rocks. This looks like hard core SF. The weirdest part? Dame Judy Dench is in it, too. FGN Opinion: Action, space ships, things blowing up. Where's the downside?

Around the World in 80 Days: No one reads Jules Verne any more, but the visionary Frenchman had a number of excellent stories about invention and adventure. This Disney adaptation may not be what he had in mind for his character of Phineas Fogg, but it seems like a non-stop ride. Jackie Chan brings some stunts to the film as Fogg's faithful manservant, Passepartout. FGN Opinion: Could be fun, but I'll reserve judgment.

The Terminal: Tom Hanks plays a loveable, but simple man (shades of Forrest Gump?) who is stranded in an airport terminal and unable to leave (Cast Away?). As he tries to make the best of his situation, he comes into contact with a number of people and one-by-one changes their lives. Directed by Steven Spielberg, this is likely to be the sleeper hit of the summer. FGN Opinion: A good date flick.

De-Lovely: A musical look at Cole Porter, the man who made America sing in the early part of the 20th century. Kevin Kline stars as Porter. A veritable who's who of stars (including Elvis Costello, Alanis Morissette, and Sheryl Crow) perform the old standards like "Let's Misbehave," "Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love)," and the title track "It's De-Lovely." FGN Opinion: Could be a good movie, but the soundtrack is a MUST!

Spider-Man 2: Tobey Maguire returns as Peter Parker, everyone's favorite wall-crawler. This time young Peter decides that he's fighting a battle he can't win and gives up being Spider-Man. Of course, it's only a matter of time before trouble brews. This time a scientist named Otto Octavius grafts four mechanical arms onto his body and becomes the villainous Doctor Octopus ("Doc Ock" for short). Kirsten Dunst is still his love interest, Mary Jane Watson. FGN Opinion: Opening Day! Must See!

July

King Arthur: There's something about a good epic based on a legend that I love. What I hate is revisionism that tries to "modernize" history. First, considering how little we know about the legendary Arthur, it seems odd that the film claims to be "The Untold True Story That Inspired the Legend." What's more absurd is the casting of the lovely Keira Knightley as a warrior-Guinevere (fighting with a bow and arrow!). Without the magic and sorcery, Arthur is just another guy claiming to be in charge. FGN Opinion: Wait for HBO.

Anchorman: While certainly not destined to be a blockbuster, this new Will Ferrell film seems like a hoot. Set in the 1970s, the film centers on Ron Burgandy (Ferrell), a "cool" lounge lizard that exudes machismo. The trailer seems to play up that Ron is a god in his own mind, and I'm sure Ferrell will give this leisure suit leftover the comic undoing that he deserves. FGN Opinion: Catch the late show after a few beers.

I, Robot: Will Smith stars in this technophobic thriller based on the I, Robot series by science fiction master Issac Asimov. Hollywood tried to adapt Asimov's Bicentennial Man a few years ago (with disastrous results). This effort, however, looks pretty good. I hear it doesn't stick to the original story, but with Smith playing the lead I'm willing to give this a moderate recommendation. I loved him in Men in Black, but he was also in that horrible Wild Wild West. FGN Opinion: Where there's a Will...

Catwoman: Friends know I collect comic books and that I love comics-related movies. When I saw the previews for Catwoman, I was stunned... and NOT in a good way! Just when I thought comics were finally getting the respect they deserve by Hollywood, this piece of garbage comes along and throws us back to the days when Shaquille O'Neal played in Steel. No matter what you hear, don't believe for a second that this is the same character from the DC Comics Batman stories. You thought Michelle Pfeiffer was bad in Batman Returns? You ain't seen nothing yet. FGN Opinion: Stay home and watch Batman - The Animated Series on DVD.

The Bourne Supremacy: Matt Damon returns as the amnesiac super-spy Jason Bourne. For those who thought the first movie was good, this one looks to be about the same. Personally, I'm looking forward to seeing Julia Stiles play a bigger role this time around. FGN Opinion: A good popcorn flick.

The Village: The man who has become one of my favorite directors with only three films is back. This time, M. Night Shyamalan brings terror to a small Pennsylvanian village in the late 1800s. Creepy and clandestine, it looks like a prequel to The Blair Witch Project. FGN Opinion: Let the screaming begin!

Danny Deckchair: When a misunderstood guy tries to fly in a patio chair tied to helium balloons, he discovers that life has no limits. Part love story, part quirky comedy, this film is sure to please just about everybody. FGN Opinion: A reason to feel good about everything.

August

Collateral:Tom Cruise plays an assassin who enlists an unwilling cab driver (Jamie Foxx) to drive him on his appointed rounds. More than a mere action movie, this one seems to have some psychological battles happening on several levels. If Foxx can play it straight without turning into comedy relief or the everyman hero, this could be a winner. FGN Opinion: Dark and Frightening.

Alien vs. Predator: The show down that science fiction fans have waited decades for is finally here. AVP takes place on Earth, in Antarctica, where scientists uncover a temple used by the Predator race in ancient times. Little does anyone know that the temple isn't exactly empty. What's more, it's not the Predators the humans have to worry about. It's the Aliens. Like the tagline says: "Whoever wins... we lose." FGN Opinion: No losers here.

Hero: Jet Li stars as a warrior with no name driven to destroy the army who massacred his people. Filled with unbelievable swordplay, a quest for revenge, and a guild of assassins, it sounds like the perfect summer movies for the foreign film crowd. The film is by the producers of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. FGN Opinion: Subtitles? No problem! Anything for a good martial arts film.