Indiana Jones and the Last Good Idea

Now that Indiana Jones 4 is officially underway (with Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, and Cate Blanchett on board), one may wonder if the road to a new archaeological adventure is now trouble free. Of course, there are still many obstacles that could befall the latest installment in the series. For your reading pleasure, a list of the Top Ten most likely problems for Indiana Jones 4:

10. Harrison Ford falls off his horse and breaks a hip.
9. Steven Spielberg decides to bring on Tom Cruise, hoping to "re-imagine" a classic.
8. In place of an ancient artifact, Jones searches for a handicapped parking space at Denny's.
   
7. George Lucas demands a new "kid-friendly" Indiana Jar-Jar (see right).
6. Shia LaBeouf hits puberty and his voice changes in mid-production, forcing numerous voice over sessions.
5. In a surprise move, Cate Blanchett doesn't play Indy's love interest but rather his daughter, Dakota Carolina Wyoming Jones.
   
4. "Short Round" is now Marion's (Karen Allen) nickname.
3. Kal Penn (Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle) replaces John Rhys-Davies (Sallah) to give Indy youth appeal.
2. Instead of a perilous escape from certain death, the film starts with a rousing musical number -- led by Kate Capshaw.
   
1. Yet to be released title: "The Old Indiana Jones Chronicles!"

My New Happy Place

In the unassuming east end of Wichita, Kansas, there is a Nirvana for film lovers. A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I visited the 13th Ave. Warren Theatre while we were in Wichita on a weekend getaway. I had heard of the Warren, so we decided to check out their VIP balcony seating to see if this was as luxurious as I had been led to believe.

First, you must understand that for us this was about the theater itself, not about the movie. As my wife, the Screen Oracle, told me, "There's good news and bad news. The good news is: we have tickets. The bad news is: the movie is Blades of Glory." Well, at least we won't confuse our love for the movie with our rating of the theater.

The VIP balcony seating ($16 per person) in the grande theatre offered several wonderful accommodations. The love-seat style chairs allowed my wife and I to sit comfortably together without an armrest between us. The seats included seat warmers that we could turn on and off. Most importantly, each seat has a button that calls a waiter who will take your order and deliver it to your seat before or during the movie. One may order from the bar, the restaurant, or the concession stand, so there are plenty of selections from which to choose. Alcohol was a must for seeing Blades of Glory. The comings and goings of the staff can be a little distracting during the movie, but it's a small price to pay for the luxury of the amenities.

As for the theater itself, the Warren is a throwback to the Golden Age of Hollywood. Art deco decor, elegance, and style are exhibited in every detail. The theatre includes a diner, a game room, and a cocktail lounge for patrons 21 years and older. Employees wear dress shirts, bow ties, and gloves. The grande theatre has a screen four stories high, draped in a red velvet curtain with the Warren logo projected onto it (see above).

After the curtain rises for the start of the show, visitors to the grande theatre are given an unexpected treat: a classic Warner Bros. cartoon. The large screen and balcony seating combine to make an excellent venue for any film, but I think a summer blockbuster like Spider-Man 3 or Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End would be the best choice for this particular theater. However, if you're only in town for one show, treat yourself to the VIP seating no matter what movie is playing. The experience is worth it.

Being in a wheelchair, I was excited to take the elevator up to the balcony. Not only are balconies uncommon nowadays, a balcony with an elevator is even more rare. This was the first time I had ever sat in the balcony of a theater. In short, I loved it. The 13th Street Warren Theatre eases the heartbreak I suffered several years ago when the Glenwood Theatre in Overland Park was torn down. It is my new favorite theatre, and I plan to visit there repeatedly in the future. Sure, it's a 2 1/2 hour drive, but it makes for a great weekend getaway.

Warren Theatres LLC operate three theaters in Wichita. However, only the 13th Street venue has the VIP lounge and balcony seating. The lounge and balcony are restricted to patrons 21 years old or older. See it for yourself, and fall in love with movie theaters all over again. Visit the Warren Theatres online.