Jennifer Aniston is Picture Perfect
..and Just as Two-Dimensional

Every week my friend and I get together for dinner and Friends on Thursday night so we can have a few laughs and admire the stunning beauty and charm of Jennifer Aniston. Naturally, when we saw the previews for Picture Perfect, we fell under her spell and started repeating "MUST SEE JENNIFER" like two mindless zombies. We're guys. I make no apologies.

Unfortunately, the 100 minutes I spent watching Picture Perfect reminded me how important a good story is to movie making. A movie star, no matter how pretty or popular, can not carry a movie which is void of a decent plot and wanders aimlessly.

The premise of Picture Perfect is a twist on the "make a potential suitor jealous" story. Kate (Aniston) wants to make Sam (played by everyone's favorite Kevin Bacon) think that she is a bad girl. His shallow reputation only allows him to date married women or those with steady boyfriends. The only twist is that, aside from telling Sam about this fictional beau, her entire office learns of her engagement and gives her a promotion because she is finally taking "responsibility" in her personal life. (Yeah, I agree. It's a very lame plot.)

Aniston's pretend fiancé is Nick -- a simple hayseed who makes videos of weddings -- played by Jay Mohr. Nick does the predictable and falls for Aniston, even though he is supposed to only pretend to be her boyfriend long enough for them to break up in public.

There were many things about the story which disappointed me. For instance, the character of Kate could not have been less sympathetic. She lies and sells out her principles for the sake of a promotion. Her efforts to get Sam into bed are motivated by a '90s lust rather than old-fashioned love. In fact, of the entire cast only Nick gets my sympathy, because he has been dragged into a Machiavellian plot in which he loses his heart.

Picture Perfect is boring, insipid, and utterly unenjoyable. If this is the best she can offer, Jennifer Aniston should stick to television where her lack of talent can be tempered by an ensemble cast and 30-minute story structures. Some overtly sexual scenes make this one inappropriate for kids and young teens.

MY RATING: 1 out of 10.

RATED: PG-13
RUN TIME: 100 min.