Who Let This Dog Out?
Scooby-Doo Should Be Scrapped

For the sake of those who are interested where I stand on "Scooby-Doo", let me start by saying I was never a huge fan of the cartoon, but I watched it regularly as part of my Saturday morning lineup. It was right up there with "Super Friends," "Speed Racer," and "Land of the Lost."

So, when I heard the powers that be at WB were planning to make a live-action Scooby-Doo, my curiosity was piqued, but nothing more. I could imagine that it would have as much appeal to me now as the "Scooby-Doo" cartoons that are still rerun ad infinitum on cable channels. In short, I thought, okay it might be a cute movie for kids but nothing more.

I wasn't far off base. The new live-action Scooby-Doo isn't fit for adults or kids. To be honest, I'm not sure what target audience this monstrosity is aimed at. With a dash of childish silliness, a pinch of nostalgic reminiscence, and a healthy dose of toilet humor, the only thing I knew for certain upon leaving the theater was that the people laughing in the row ahead of me must have been smoking some good ganja before the movie started. I didn't find it nearly as funny.

For starters, this is not the Scooby Gang that I grew up with. Although Matthew Lillard is a remarkable embodiment of Shaggy, and Linda Cardellini has Velma's voice perfect, the writing behind all the characters is hopelessly wrong. Right off, Fred (Freddie Prinze, Jr.) comes off as a control freak. Daphne ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer's" Sarah Michelle Gellar) is a whining girl who is tired of being the victim in every scenario. Velma is tired of Fred getting all the credit. The infighting comes to a quick boil, and the members of Mystery Inc. go their separate ways.

The main story revolves around a mystery on Spooky Island (think of it as a Disney version of Padre Island). Students who come to the island on vacation are leaving like zombies. The owner, Emile Mondavarious (British comedian Rowan Atkinson), regroups the shattered Mystery Inc. to solve the puzzle.

Along the way, the story goes everywhere it shouldn't. Shaggy and Scooby have a prolonged belching and farting contest. Velma gives up her trademark orange sweater for a bust-enhancing blouse. Fred looks like a gay frat boy. And Daphne, in one of the worst decisions of all, takes up martial arts so she can be stop being "the hostage."

Now, I understand that the writers are challenged to bring two-dimensional characters to appear more real than they would in a half-hour cartoon. But why mess with the spirit of a classic? You either honor the original or you spoof it. Unfortunately, this film tries to do both -- and ends up accomplishing neither.

I wanted to enjoy the film, whether as a wry sendup of the cartoon series or as a heartfelt extension of it. Like other fans my age, I have a certain cynicism about the old cartoon, but I also have a place in my heart for it. I didn't want to see someone destroy the memory of it.

MY RATING: 2 out of 10.

RATED:
RUN TIME: 86 min.

Who Let This Dog Out? Scooby-Doo Should Be Scrapped

Who Let This Dog Out?
Scooby-Doo Should Be Scrapped