Angels Sequel a Full Throttle Fiasco

The resurrection of television shows (good and bad) as movies (good and bad) has become quite a trend. From the rebirth of "Star Trek" back in the late '70s as a motion picture to movies like The Beverly Hillbillies and The Addams Family, Hollywood has seen fit to empty the garbage bin of pop culture past and serve it up as lukewarm leftovers. And the have the nerve to tell us it's fresh.

Movies made from television shows only have two reasons for existing. Either the film is an attempt to do the characters and story justice in a way that couldn't be done on the small screen (as with Star Trek: The Motion Picture or The Addams Family) or the film is a tongue-in-cheek parody of the original (as seen in The Brady Bunch Movie or Scooby Doo). Charlie's Angels falls clearly into the "just for laughs" category. The problem is, if you're playing for laughs by showing how awful the original was, there's not much you can do the second time around.

What the producers of Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle have done is dredge up more of the same one-note laughs that made the first film mildly entertaining. Everything is the same: the unbelievable, over-the-top chase scenes, the silly references to how smart the Angels really are, and the same "girl power" shtick showing beautiful women beating the crap out of men. Ironically, there is a pretty decent (if predictable) story behind it all, but it's hidden by director McG's use of special effects and music video style editing.

This time around, the Angels are trying to stop a top-secret database of witness protection informants from being decoded. Ignoring all the side stories that try to build on paper thin characters, this is a film about past sins catching up to us. In the case of Dylan (Drew Barrymore), there's a man from her past whom she has been hiding from. Now that he has returned, her life before she became an Angel is endangering her friends. Meanwhile, Charlie is discovering that one of his former Angels (Demi Moore) isn't quite the woman he thought she was.

The original trio from the movie (Barrymore, Lucy Liu, and Cameron Diaz) are all back for the second round. For laughs, the producers have brought in comedian Bernie Mac to play Bosley (replacing Bill Murray who brought his own unique style to the role in the first film). Mac has some of the best lines in the film, such as when he discovers the large map on the wall is really a huge television screen and says, "I know where I'm gonna watch the game tonight!" Crispin Glover returns as The Thin Man, an assassin from the first movie who's motivation is never fully explained. Best of all, however, are some noteworthy cameos including Bruce Willis and former television Angel Jaclyn Smith.

For the adolescent boys, there are plenty of chases, explosions, and the Angels doing the bump and grind in a strip bar (all in the line of duty, of course). The fight scenes are all so ridiculously awful that they are funny, which I assume is intentional. The odd thing is, when the Angels are beating up guys it seems okay. When Seamus O'Grady (Justin Theroux) smacks around Dylan, though, it seems exploitative and abusive. (I think there's a psychology thesis just waiting to be written here. Title it "Angels and the Bad Men." I want credit for that much, at least.)

I don't think anyone expected the original Charlie's Angels film to be a big success. If they had, maybe they would have found a way to make the characters more three-dimensional or given the story a life outside of parodying the original television show. Instead, the style over substance curse of the original has resurfaced in the sequel because (I'm sure) the studio figured that's what made the original a success.

Unfortunately, Sony is going to find that these Angels aren't immortal. This sequel just isn't exciting enough (or funny enough) for the big screen. Some television shows should just be forgotten.

MY RATING: 3 out of 10.

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RUN TIME: 105 min.