Resurrecting Universal Monsters
in Horrible Van Helsing

As a big fan of the classic Universal Studios horror films of the 1930s and '40s, I had expected director Stephen Sommers' latest foray into the monster archives to carry the torch into the 21st century. Sommers' work on The Mummy (1999) was a fantastic update of the original. As with The Mummy Returns and The Scorpion King, however, Sommers has proven himself to be a one-hit-wonder by unleashing a horrible Van Helsing.

The story follows a 19th century monster hunter named Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) who works for a secret organization run by the Church. His hunting has him perceived as a murderer by those who find the bodies of his victims (after the monsters have reverted to their human forms). Van Helsing has no memory of his past, but he is driven by nightmares of centuries-old battles.

Van Helsing is charged by the Church to go Transylvania where he must assist the Valerious family in their generations-old pact to destroy Count Dracula, a powerful vampire. As the film progresses, Van Helsing encounters the brides of Dracula, a werewolf, and Frankenstein's monster (Shuler Hensley). Victor Frankenstein's loyal Igor (Kevin J. O'Connor, Beni from The Mummy) has jumped ship and is working for the Count. There are also assorted evil minions running around, looking for all the world like Oz munchkins in bondage gear.

Of course, what movie would be complete without a heroine for the hero? Kate Beckinsale (Underworld) plays Anna Valerious, the last daughter of the Valerious line. The Valerious family has tried everything (stakes, silver, holy water) but nothing has destroyed Dracula. (Not that Sommers ever explains WHY that stuff didn't work.) Beckinsale is hardly a typical 19th-century villager, however. She fights alongside her brother and then Van Helsing, not as a weak female character but as an equal.

All other revisionism aside, the film completely abandons the spirit of true horror films when audiences are introduced to Carl (David Wenham), a friar who supplies Van Helsing with his special arsenal of weapons and gadgets -- a la Q in the James Bond movies. Moreover, Carl gets to go along on the adventure, making him the comedy sidekick for the duration of the film.

The film climaxes with a series of coincidences so unbelievable that it makes most James Bond films look realistic by comparison. That the outcome should hinge on so many circumstances coming into play is just bad storytelling.

Unlike The Mummy, the story of Van Helsing does not try to be a period piece. Too much of the plot, characters, and dialogue are out of place for a story set in the 19th century. When Van Helsing makes a comment about "self-realization" I knew all hope was lost.

Van Helsing does not pay homage to the classic films so much as bastardize them. Rather than trying to be a horror film or even simply a "monster movie," it becomes a 21st century action film. The gothic horror genre is destroyed until nothing but an action film is left in its wake. Although films like Underworld and Blade managed to bring action to the horror genre without disrupting the mystique that made it special, Van Helsing does not.

I expect Van Helsing to do reasonably well at the box office. It has some good special effects and the story is kind of fun. It should appeal to the same group of people who enjoyed seeing The Rock in The Scorpion King. Unfortunately, in playing to a niche market, it forsakes the legacy that Universal has tried so hard to protect.

The horror genre has often been the unwanted stepchild of filmmaking. Some of the worst films of the past century have been horror films that failed because of poor acting or horrible special effects. Ironically, Van Helsing does not suffer from these problems. The acting is good and the special effects are outstanding. The problem is the writing and directing. For both of these, I blame Sommers.

MY RATING: 4 out of 10.

RATED: PG-13
RUN TIME: 132 min.