How Good is Bad?
Lobster Man from Mars Takes the Prize

A couple of years ago, I was lucky enough to see a B-movie called The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. That film started me on a quest to find similar works, movies that were intentionally bad and reveled in it. Thanks to my keen-eyed wife, this week we picked up a DVD of the 1989 film Lobster Man from Mars and fell in love with bad movies all over again.

Lobster Men from Mars
John and Mary (Anthony Hickox and Deborah Foreman) consult with Professor Plocostomos (Patrick Macnee) about the invaders from space in the hilarious B-movie spoof Lobster Man from Mars. (Electric Pictures, 1989)
Directed by: Stanley Sheff
Written by: Bob Greenberg
Starring: Deborah Foreman, Anthony Hickox, Patrick Macnee, Tommy Sledge, Billy Barty, and Tony Curtis

Rated Not Rated
Running time: 82 min.

FilmGuru's Rating : 9 out of 10.

Lobster Man from Mars is a film within a film. The story begins with a young filmmaker named Stevie Horowitz (Dean Jacobson) putting the finishing touches on his project. He takes the film to J.P. Shelldrake (Tony Curtis), whom he has been trying to see for awhile. Luckily for Stevie, Shelldrake just found out that he owes the IRS $4 million in back taxes. His accountant has suggested that a box office bomb might offset their profits, so Shelldrake screens Stevie's film in hopes that this bad little movie might solve his problems.

The film, of course, is Lobster Man from Mars -- written, directed, produced, etc. by Stevie Horowitz. The story is right out of a 1950s serial. The planet Mars is facing extinction because their air supply is nearly depleted. So, they send their dreaded "Lobster Man" to Earth in hopes of stealing ours. Later, on Earth, a man and woman (Anthony Hickox and Deborah Foreman) see the spaceship land in a nearby cave. They take pictures and hope to convince people of the threat. People begin to mysteriously die in the small town, so John and Mary soon contact his uncle, Professor Plocostomos (Patrick Macnee), who is the leading expert in life on Mars -- which he thinks must be giant clams.

The key to Lobster Man from Mars is the little touches that act as homage to all the B-movies before it. There are a thousand gaps in the logic of the film, most of which are pointed out by Mary (although her opinion is dismissed because she's a woman). The dialogue is humorous, both because it is a stereotypical cliche and because it is delivered so badly. The characters are two-dimensional to the point of being caricatures. The film captures the spirit of B-movies by employing all the expected characters and exploiting them to ridiculous proportions: a professor, an army colonel, a private detective, and the innocent lovers John and Mary. There are also a number of nods to old movies, such as Robot Monster, Invasion of the Saucer Men, and others.

The best surprises in the film, however, are the little things such as seeing Bobby Pickett (of "Monster Mash" fame) as the King of the Martians or hearing Dr. Demento give the narration. Tommy Sledge's tough-guy P.I. routine is hilarious, even when he's delivering the same line half a dozen times. Billy Barty also makes a brief cameo as Mr. Throckmorton, an eccentric man living on a cursed estate.

The big hook for me was seeing Deborah Foreman one more time. Her brief flirtation with stardom in the '80s included classics like Valley Girls, Real Genius, My Chauffeur, and Waxwork. I thought she was, in many ways, the quintessential '80s girl. I loved every movie she appeared in, no matter how briefly. Lobster Man from Mars seems to mark the start of the end of her career, but she still shines. It is a welcome addition to my collection. (Now if I could just get a copy of Lunatics: A Love Story.)

Despite our slogan ("Millions of people see bad movies. Don't be one of them."), sometimes a bad movie is a real treat. The key, of course, is finding that perfect saturation of bad that elevates the film to a worthy level. Lobster Man from Mars is a near-perfect example of how good a bad movie can be. Finding it was a pleasure, and the next step on a life-long quest for the best the worst can offer.